Friday, June 1, 2007

If thou must love me...

Some days, your heart just wants to scream out aloud... but lacks the words it needs to do it with. On some other days, you even manage to get a few words out, but they just seem so hollow... so strangely inadequate... And you wonder - if I can feel it in me, throbbing away with such great passion, why then can my brain not find that same power in the words it chooses?! (Stereotypically speaking, us men-folk are purported to be the most frequent offenders of this kind - how often we are blamed for not being able to verbalize what's truly running in our heads and our hearts! Hehe!:))

Now I am a markedly talkative bloke - you leave me in a room with some close friends and I could yap on till kingdom cometh! Hehe!:) This verbal constipation that I just mentioned is not my natural state of existence, so to speak! However, when you look at it in all honesty, it's not all that incongruous... Blessed is the one who speaks 'coz he has something to say... more often than not, we speak 'coz we can't bear the silence... And finally when we do have something to say... something truly important... truly significant... we are faced with a unique burden - how do I say it so that what comes out of my mouth is what's running in my head!?

Now don't get me wrong; this isn't merely one's fear of the 'foot-in-mouth' syndrome... I think, it's more along the lines of, "If this means so much to me that I can't bear to exist another moment without sharing it with you, how do I get it across without losing any of the intensity, the emotions, the pathos?”

It's at times like these that I keep going back to the poetry of the yesteryears. Now mind you, most of these poets were total nuts with train-wrecks for personal lives... Frequently they were suicidal... sometimes they were just sociopathic! But maybe since everything else in their lives sucked so bad, they ended up working wonders in the one area they picked to excel in - literature! Aah, what words... what thoughts... Sometimes, it feels like Browning and Shelley and Yeats and Keats traveled through time, just to peek into my heart... and then went right back, and put my feelings down on paper, in a style far better than any I could ever manage!

One such example is Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet 14 - "If thou must love me, let it be for nought"! For years I have tried to knock this idea into several peoples' heads... but never have I managed to do it with such class! Hehe!:)

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
'I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'—
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.


Anonymous said...

awwwwwwwwwwww....she must be a very special girl... :)

pray tell then, y the previous post??

The Falstaffian said...

Naaah... (Unfortunately?) This post was directed at no particular person - it's just an ideal that I aspire to...

Too often in life we are told that the romance that we watch in the movies, or read of in the books is merely fiction. That, if I continue to look for a 'Jennifer' to my 'Oliver', I am slated for life-long disappointment! And while personal history would seem to attest to that fact, I insist on holding on to that ideal. The whole 'kahin na kahin koi hai' theory! :) I mean, for our collective sakes, it has to be true right? It would be such a pity to go through life and never have that ecstasy of true love to look forward to...

So call me a hopeless romantic if you must, but I am going to keep looking till such a love finds me! :)

Anonymous said...

you do that!! :)

maybe you'll have better luck than the rest of us...*sigh*

Anonymous said...

also what is the "The whole 'kahin na kahin koi hai' theory! " ?????

pray expound!!

The Falstaffian said...

I sure hope so! :)

As for that theory, I take no credit for it - it was first expounded in one of those Chopra/Johar type movies... maybe "Dil To Pagal Hai"! Hehe.

As I see it, it merely states that none of us are destined to be alone! Each and everyone one of us has our 'perfect' someone somewhere on this planet... I think the trick lies in keeping ourselves always open to the possibility, and never selling ourselves out short! Both of which are easier said than done...hehe! ;)

Btw, if you believe this theory, the 'rest of us' have as much a chance at getting lucky as I do! ;)

Anonymous said...

Again I can't say that I have had the good fortune of watching any of these movies...this time however my googling did yield results of some value... :)

I am now a little more informed...Bollywood, eh?

As far as being a believer in the theory....I'm not quite sure...maybe...who knows...maybe not...who knows... :)

The Falstaffian said...

Goood - you are learning already... In a span of just two comments you now know everything you will ever need to know about Bollywood... hehe! And I just taught you a hindi phrase as well... God, I should get paid for this! ;)

As for the theory, like wiser people than me have said, 'que sera sera'... I am just going to make sure I enjoy the ride! ;)

Anonymous said...

Alright then, I'll pay you...And who might I write the check out to?

The Falstaffian said...

Ohh cmon - we are in the 21st century here, Mr./Ms. Anonymous person! :P 'Writing checks' is such a quaint concept - I work almost exclusively with PayPal for all my online instruction fees! ;)

But one thing the 21st century has also taught me is that just 'coz you know the (sub-par) institution a person might be 'educating' themselves in, doesn't mean that you trust them enough to share financial data with them! How do I know that you are not looking to steal my (awesome) identity...hehe :P You are going to have to try harder than that!

Anonymous said...

You never learn now, do you? I don't remember mentioning that I was "being educated". How can you discount the possibility that I might be educating, or working at this upstate NY educational institution (if at all)...or I might be just using it's wireless network...or I might be feigning its IP address...the possibilities are endless.. :)

The Falstaffian said...

Touché! :) It was indeed very presumptuous on my part to ignore those possibilities... I mean, come to think of it, barring the whole "feigning its IP address bit" (yeah right! :P), everything else sounds perfectly plausible... Mea culpa, mademoiselle! ;)

So now that you have humbled me thus (:P), pray tell... which one is it... I never could rein in my curiosity! Hehe :)

Anonymous said...

Does it matter? Shouldn't it suffice that you have such an ardent fan in me? How I occupy myself when I am not checking lingering about your blog shouldn't be of the teeniest import!

The Falstaffian said...

Indeed it isn't! Like you pointed out, I am still trying to come to terms with the whole 'ardentness' thingy and thanking my lucky stars and all that! :P I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth! :D

Anonymous said...

Right then!
Now that that's settled... :p

The Falstaffian said...

See... there you go... story of my life... I keep giving and giving and people just keep taking and taking! :P Nobody ever does anything just 'coz I said so... Booo hooo hooo... :( Nobody loves me! :P